


Careful the Wish You Make

by deirdre_aithne



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Creature Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-13
Updated: 2011-10-13
Packaged: 2019-11-03 21:21:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17885423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deirdre_aithne/pseuds/deirdre_aithne
Summary: This sort of thing only happens in children's fairy stories and David Bowie movies... doesn't it?





	Careful the Wish You Make

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Creature Fest on hp_creatures. Thanks to uniquepov for the beta.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I do not own or claim to own any characters, settings, locations, etc. from Harry Potter or The Labyrinth. All borrowed aspects of the above fandoms are used purely for entertainment in a fanwork, and will be returned to their proper fandom and owners scratch, dent, and injury-free.

Hermione groaned, dropping her head against the door as Victoire continued screaming on the other side. The toddler had been fine twenty minutes earlier when Bill and Fleur had left the cottage, but the moment the  _crack_  of Apparition had signalled their departure, Victoire had started in. It had begun as a soft fuss that quickly crested into a full-blown scream that should only be heard from someone suffering from lethal injuries-  _not_  from a one-year-old who just didn't wish to go to bed.  
  
Despite her best efforts, Hermione had been unable to calm the girl down and had decided to attempt an approach discussed in the books she'd read after agreeing to babysit for the evening. Victoire, however, did not seem to appreciate being left to simply 'work it out', and had managed to increase the volume of her cries to a level Hermione was certain had to be caused by an accidental  _Sonorous_. Leaving her head resting against the door, Hermione's hands came up to rub at her temples in an attempt to keep her oncoming migraine at bay. After five minutes passed with no sign of relief, and with the ache in Hermione's head only becoming worse, she gave in and wrenched open the nursery door.  
  
"Victoire Weasley,  _stop it!_ "  
  
Victoire's cries quieted at Hermione's sharp tone, but her expression scrunched, and Hermione saw the tears welling in her eyes begin to spill over. Pressing her hands over her ears, Hermione let out a frustrated groan that rivalled Victoire's next scream. With a chant of 'never again' running through her head, Hermione plucked the girl from her crib and began to bounce her a little less gently than she usually would have, making a harsh shushing sound.  
  
" _Stop_  it, Victoire.  _Please!_ "  
  
Hermione's patience for the screaming was quickly wearing thin. Victoire had been fed by Fleur and changed by Charlie before Hermione had arrived at the cottage; her diaper was not wet, and there was no smell to indicate that it was dirty, and her usual bed time for the night was already fourty minutes past, due to her fit. Placing the girl back down in the crib, Hermione squeezed her eyes closed and took a deep breath, hoping to stave off the angry snap that threatened to burst from her lips.  
  
"Merlin, why can't  _someone_  just come take you away until you calm down?" Hermione muttered under her breath. "Hell, the goblins can have you, for all I care." Victoire's cries picked up again, and with a growl of annoyance, Hermione stomped out of the bedroom, slashing her wand to douse the lights. "I wish someone  _would_  come and take you away," she spat, grasping for the handle of the door and beginning to pull it closed behind her. " _Right now._ "1  
  
Victoire's screaming stopped with the  _click_  of the door closing, and Hermione hesitated to walk away. Leaning in, she pressed her ear against the door and frowned when she heard silence. It was what she'd wanted, but the abrupt change was disconcerting all the same, and Hermione found herself slowly twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open again. Instead of opening only a few inches for her to peer inside, the door swung open of its own accord, rattling off the wall behind it.  
  
Hermione's breath left her with a  _whoosh_  as she stood rooted in the doorway, gaping at the man standing in the centre of the room. He was recognizable in an instant, although he looked nothing like he had the last time Hermione had seen him at the Death Eater trials.  
  
Lucius's eyes were a bright and shining silver as he looked at her, and for a moment, Hermione swore she saw what looked like shadow on the lids of his eyes when he blinked. His mouth quirked with a smile as Hermione reached for her wand, and with a small twitch of his hand, her wand flew out of her grasp.  
  
"What are you doing here, Malfoy?" Hermione snapped, looking around for Victoire. The crib was empty, and there were no sounds to indicate where the girl was now. To her chagrin, Lucius's lips pulled into a smirk.  
  
"Answering your wish,  _Hermione_."  
  
For a moment, Hermione could only stare at him, trying to make sense of what he'd said. It couldn't be as obvious as he made it sound – that was impossible. That sort of thing only happened in children's fairy stories and David Bowie movies. Hermione stifled a giggle as she recalled spending quite a few nights during her childhood watching that  _particular_  film.  
  
"I have a hard time believing you rule over goblins these days, Malfoy." Lucius looked appalled at the suggestion.  
  
" _Goblins?_  Hardly. I'd sooner cease to be Fey altogether than deal with those repulsive things for any longer than it takes to access my Gringotts vault."  
  
" _Fey_ ," Hermione repeated incredulously. "You're  _Fey_?"  
  
Lucius arched one blond eyebrow, and Hermione could make out a faint shimmer around his eyes. "Were you suffering under the delusion that I had Veela blood, then? That does seem to be the popular theory."  
  
Sighing, Hermione pinched the bridge of her nose as she felt her headache begin to throb again. "Whatever. Just give me back Victoire, please."  
  
"What's said is said."  
  
Hermione gaped at Lucius. "But... I didn't mean it!"  
  
"Oh, you didn't?"2  
  
"Wait a moment..." Hermione narrowed her eyes, folding her arms over her chest as she stared at Lucius. "How exactly does  _my_  wish give you the authority to take her in the first place?" At Lucius's questioning look, Hermione continued in a rush, "I'm not her guardian, I have no real authority to make decisions for or about her, so why is it, just because I say I wish someone would take her away, you can?"  
  
"Faerie law is much more complicated than-"  
  
"Complicated my  _arse_. What would you even do with her, anyway? Can you turn her into one of you?"  
  
"Of course not, that isn't-"  
  
"I don't imagine you'll eat her, since only one obscure reference mentioned that. I suppose you could always replace her with a changeling, since I doubt anyone is likely to notice the difference, except perhaps Fleur... What?" Hermione asked, when she stopped thinking aloud to notice that Lucius was now the one gaping at  _her_.  
  
"What in Merlin's name is  _wrong_  with you?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"A Fey steals a child under your watch, and your first questions are about what will happen to the girl, not  _how you can get her back_?" Hermione's mouth formed a small 'o' of understanding, and Lucius shook his head, twisting his hand to conjure a crystal.  
  
"What's that?" Hermione asked, her gaze riveted on the sphere as Lucius began to roll it back and forth over his hands.  
  
"It's a crystal," Lucius told her, "nothing more. But-"  
  
"'But if I turn it this way and look into it, it'll show me my dreams'?"3 Hermione finished for him, barely holding back an amused grin. To her surprise, Lucius growled in annoyance, his hands stilling as the crystal settled in his palm.  
  
"No, you twit. It's a crystal and  _nothing more_. It was meant to be my offer for the child, but since you seem intent on mocking me, I believe I shall simply take both it  _and_  the girl and be on my way."  
  
"Wait!" Hermione shrieked, taking a step forward as Lucius moved towards the large, open window. "How can I get Victoire back?"  
  
"Too late," Lucius said as he climbed up on the windowsill. "For future reference, Miss Granger, it is not wise to be smart when speaking with the Fey. We are not known for our senses of humour." He turned his back to her and moved one foot out over the open air as he prepared to step off the window.  
  
"What will you do with her?!" Hermione lunged forward and grasped for Lucius's robes, narrowly missing them as he dropped from the window. She dove for the windowsill after him, his voice floating up towards her as he drifted towards the ground below.  
  
"I hear children make a delightful stew."

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - 'I wish the goblins would come and take you away... right now' comes directly from Labyrinth and was obviously changed slightly for this.  
> 2 - 'What's said is said.'  
> 'But I didn't mean it!'  
> 'Oh, you didn't?' – this exchange comes straight out of Labyrinth as well...  
> 3 - 'It's a crystal, nothing more. But if you turn it this way and look into it, it'll show you your dreams' comes straight out of Labyrinth and is said while Jareth is doing exactly what Lucius is doing with said crystal.


End file.
